Tomorrow I will be with a group of fellow travelers on the path towards self-actualization: our current elementary interns. If this weekend runs true to form, they will arrive exhausted, half-sick, filled with self-doubt and overwhelmed. Through sharing, absorbing, discussing, discovering, mourning, and celebrating, by Monday afternoon they will be reconnected and recharged, ready for the last trimester – the final push in birthing a group of new Montessori teachers.
Working with interns is a blessing. It allows me to regularly re-experience what it was like to be so new to Montessori and to assess where I am on my own journey. I well remember when I was invited to become a field consultant and an instructor; it had not occurred to me that through my work in the classroom “laboratory” I had learned enough to have something to offer an emerging Montessori guide. Over the years, mentoring interns and young teachers at the beginning of their Montessori journey, when the path is so steep, has put me in contact with first principles regularly. For that, I am truly grateful.
Do you remember what it was like to be a new Montessorian? I remember being very certain of who I wanted to become, but not so sure about how to get there. It was not like learning to be a semi-accomplished violinist, where the path was clear and straightforward. Practice and lessons would take care of the mechanics of the technique. Watching and listening to great performances would connect my heart and soul. The Montessori path, by comparison, has so many trajectories that shape and define us. Movement along these trajectories is often non-linear, and sometimes involves valuable sidetracks and looping back in the process of becoming more and more the “transformed adult”.
Reflection for Adults: We are all on the path of transformation – none of us has achieved it, just as no one truly achieves self-actualization. There will always be parts of our belief system and our practice that have not yet evolved as we had hoped, or that have evolved and then regressed. The key is to always stay in motion: there is no camping on the path of transformation!
Think of this week’s reflection as a menu. Choose one area that you feel might make the biggest difference in your effectiveness, health, and happiness. Begin by thinking back to your practice in that particular area during your internship or your first days as a lead teacher. Make note of ways in which your practice has evolved, acknowledging your growth in that area. Knowing where we have come from is often important to being able to choose where we are heading. Think about how your practice might continue to grow and mature, and what it will take to accomplish that. The question is, in essence, who you want to become and how will you get there?
In the end, set 1-2 goals: things that you pledge to do in the coming week. On Friday, honestly assess whether the goals you set helped advance your practice. If not, were they the wrong goals or do you need to be more patient with yourself as you initiate new practices? If you do feel that the new habit is helping to mature your practice, how can you keep it alive in the coming week?
Here are a few ideas based on my own experiences to get you thinking. You may find that your reflection takes you in a very different direction from those below – each of us has unique strengths and opportunities for growth. Please take your reflection wherever you think it will most benefit you:
Lessons If you were like I was as an intern, those early lessons were pretty mechanical – and usually way too long! Does that sound familiar? If so, you can probably relate to trying to memorize how to give key lessons the night before, because so little had been internalized. We might have defined a successful lesson by whether we got through it without a student looking as if we were speaking in some foreign language. When choosing what lessons to give next, we probably relied more upon the sequence of lessons in the album than on being guided by isolated difficulties. Now, I can look back on those days and see a dramatic difference in my lessons. Yet, I can still reflect on my current practice and ask, “how are lessons today?” To what degree do I begin each lesson knowing what the isolated difficulties are and what key information I need to convey? Does that free me to tell my story in an effective way, keeping lessons to a reasonable length?
Materials If you were like I was during training, you marveled at the materials when they were presented to you. Sometimes the connection between the way we learned a concept and the way a material presented the concept was tenuous. For me, the material based lessons on multiplying and dividing fractions were especially mysterious – it took me over 10 years to fully figure those out! I am sure that I am not alone there! It is human nature, when doubt or fear creeps in, to retreat to our comfort zone – we can resort to teaching those things the way that we learned them. Now, I can look back on those days and see a dramatic difference in my relationship with the materials. I see them as a primary tool for instruction rather than as conceptual support. Yet, I can still reflect on my current practice: how is my relationship with the materials today? To what extent have I nurtured the connections between the way that I was taught concepts and the materials that Montessori designed to foster learning through “the work of the hand”? Are there still material presentations that I avoid or do mechanically, hoping that they make more sense to the children than they do to me?
Classroom Management My internship could have been described as little islands of exuberant triumph floating in a sea of self-doubt. Any misstep on my part induced feelings of failure. Children’s unfortunate behavior choices sometimes made me feel the need to pull in the reigns or turn to punishing consequences. Does this resonate with you? Now, I can look back on those days and see how those practices worked against what I was trying to accomplish with the children. Yet, I can still reflect on my current practice: how is my relationship with the children today? When something goes wrong, do I automatically look first to myself and the environment that I created for possible solutions? To what extent is there room for children to make mistakes and learn from them? Am I able to treat the misbehaving child “as if he were ill” and turn unfortunate choices into learning opportunities? To what extent do I ask the children to help solve any recurring issues? To what extent am I able to identify behaviors that are outside of my Circle of Influence and seek help from others?
Competing Priorities Interns have “high priority” requests and requirements coming at them from all sides: from the training program, the school/district, mentor teachers, classroom children and their parents, their own families, and possibly others. When it seems impossible to rank competing priorities intelligently, it is human nature to respond most quickly to quiet the squeakiest wheels. I know that we all can relate to having put our own needs so far behind all of the other requirements that they simply were not attended to. I can look back on those days and see how failing to manage competing priorities made me less effective. Yet, I can still reflect on my current practice: how well am I prioritizing my time today? To what extent am I able to distinguish between the truly urgent tasks and those that can wait for a time? To what extent have I developed the skill of successful delegation (who, when, and with what training) and the ability to embrace a somewhat different outcome when someone does a task well, but differently than I would have? To what extent am I fully operating within my Circles of Control and Influence? And here’s the biggie: am I making time to care for myself and my well-being?
Practicing Montessori PhilosophyI remember Montessori philosophy as being something that was almost other-worldly. As an intern, reading and understanding the thoughts and feelings behind it was elevating and exciting, but could best be characterized as pure theory. When faced with putting it into practice, I was somewhat at a loss as to where to begin. Reflecting on those early times, I can give myself permission to have been unsure about how to implement the philosophy. That is something that comes over time, and often through observing how others’ practices align (or fail to align) with the philosophy. I am quite sure that I will always be able to find opportunities to make my practice better align with Montessori philosophy. To what extent does the philosophy inform and shape my day-to-day choices? Could I choose three elements of Montessori philosophy that I find most compelling and give a short talk explaining what it is, why it is important, and how it is manifest in my classroom? To what extent has Montessori philosophy evolved from pure theory to invaluable tool.
Cosmic Task:My Montessori training could have been subtitled Cosmic Discovery. There were multiple times during my training when I was awed, understanding something fully for the first time in my life. Does that resonate with you? Did you learn about or experience a new level of interconnectivity with other people, with the Earth, with the past, with another culture, or with Creation itself? Did you feel inspired to share more than mere knowledge, to share Cosmic Discovery with your future classes? Today, I can still challenge myself to see, feel, and share awe and appreciation for the interconnectivity of all things. To what extent am I furthering my own cosmic discovery and inspiring cosmic discovery in others? To what extent do my children spontaneously relish moments of awe in the classroom? Do those moments happen throughout all curricular areas? Do I express my own awe and appreciation (even if I “discover” the same truth every year)? To what extent do I feel that I better understand my cosmic task every year?
Reflection for Children: Adults often ask what you want to be when you grow up. They want to know what field of work most interests you or what kind of work you see yourself doing. Rarely do they ask who you want to be when you grow up – what kind of person you want to be. Here are a few questions to get you thinking. Read them and then set them aside. Think about your future self. Dream big. Then describe your future self and your future life.
Remember, do not answer each of these questions in your journal – just think about them:
Do you see yourself as someone surrounded by other people all the time or as spending time primarily with a few select people? Will you be constantly traveling lightly from place to place or having a home-base surrounded by things that you enjoy? Will we find you more often outdoors or indoors? Do you think that you will direct other people in an organization, invent new things, help others improve their lives, create safe and nurturing spaces for people or animals? Will you be very active, constantly on the move, will your life be filled with intellectual pursuits, or will there be a mix? What will make your life rich and full and how you will grace the world with your life?
Now then, set the questions aside and imagine your future self. What are you like?
“Dream big and dare to fail.”
-Norman Vaughan