Healing Self-Image, Implementing Montessori Philosophy, Remodeling Paradigms, Transformation of the Adult

Sweating The Small Stuff

Do you ever get the feeling that the Universe is asking something of you?  When I get that, it feels like random people tugging on my sleeve, each whispering the same thing into my ear.  Over the last couple of weeks, the Universe has really been trying to get my attention on today’s topic.

The first tug on the sleeve was the article by Jacquelyn Greenbaum entitled, “Where’s your line?”, published in this month’s Colorado Montessori Association newsletter.  Jacquelyn talked about each of us as having a compassion/conviction line.  The conviction side contains your “no compromise” ideas.  The compassion side contains ideas that, while no less impassioned, are negotiable or flexible.  We make thousands of decisions every day that reside firmly on one side of the line or the other, often instantaneously.  Jacquelyn makes the case that this line has some fluidity.  Its precise position at any given moment can be influenced by things like the situation or context, perceptions of another’s needs, timing, opposing viewpoints, or even things beyond our control, such as being assigned a task by an employer.  She challenges us to make our decisions with conscious awareness of whether we are operating out of conviction or compassion.

The second tug on the sleeve was a conversation I had with my husband over dinner last week.  He was talking about safety awareness training at work.  The position taken by the trainers was that core values, initially formed by the way that one is raised, shape behaviors.  Experiences, even small ones, refine and change core values.  For example, we have all been taught never to stand on the top step of a ladder – it is patently unsafe.  But “just this once”, when the thing being sought is tantalizingly close, ½” beyond our reach, we put a knee or even a foot on the top step and press up just far enough to retrieve the item.  We have breached our core value and lived to see another day.  We have changed our core value from never to never unless it can be done just a little bit while remaining cautious.  We are more likely to breach our core value the next time we have chosen a ladder that is a little too short.

Both of these “tugs on my sleeve” are talking about the same thing: subtly changing paradigms.  We know that personal paradigms are cognitive frameworks that help us shape and order our world.  They arise from our core values.  They are the belief systems on which we base our decisions.  We like to think of them as being immutable.

The good news: paradigms can be consciously changed.

The bad news: paradigms can change without our permission.

Some paradigms do not serve us well.  We can consciously change these.  In my Classroom Leadership course, a significant topic is our paradigms about children, formed by the way that we were treated by parents, teachers, and other influential adults when we ourselves were children.  The prevalent paradigm when I was a child was that children are inherently naughty and, left to their own devices, will run amok.  Their goal is to get away with whatever they can.  Montessori’s paradigm, in contrast, is that children are inherently good and genuinely wish to be successful.  They know what they need to be able to develop into the adult that they are destined to become, and are therefore worthy of our trust and support.  There is quite a difference between these two paradigms, isn’t there?  The truth is that I carried the paradigm of my youth into parenthood.  Largely through Montessori training, which I began when my son was 4, I came to realize that it was a false paradigm.  Through reflection, experimentation, and conscious intention, I altered my paradigm to align with Montessori’s, aided by experiences that supported my new belief system.

Paradigms are altered by our day-to-day choices, often unconsciously.  Like the example of risky behavior on a ladder, small acts over time shift our paradigms.  That can work in our favor, such as when we are breaking in a new desirable habit.  But they can also work to our detriment when we act in opposition to valued core beliefs “just this once” as a (hopefully temporary) solution to an immediate problem.

Sometimes the choice to act in opposition to a paradigm is intentional, such as when we make an exception for a child who has special needs/abilities.  Sometimes the act is unintentional, such as when we adopt a practice in our classroom without considering how well it does or does not align with our paradigms.  Sometimes the act is outside of our control, such as when we are asked to adopt a school-wide or district-wide practice or program.  As we repeat this act in various ways, it becomes our new paradigm.

If the new paradigm increases our minute-to-minute effectiveness, it produces lasting change that improves our practice.  But if the new paradigm takes us farther from successful instruction or classroom leadership, we may become less effective without realizing that the reason for our diminished effectiveness is not the children; it is within us.

Does this mean that we draw our paradigm “line in the sand” and refuse to do anything that causes us to cross over?  Absolutely not!  Rigid paradigms do not serve us well in an evolving world.  We might well change our practices or even our beliefs in response to emerging research on healthy habits, executive function, neuroscience of learning, intrinsic motivation, and more.  It does, however, heighten the importance of staying anchored in core Montessori philosophy, which is immutable, to avoid being destabilized.  As we observe other classrooms, discuss our practice with fellow teachers/administrators, read education-related articles online, or consider a new material, resource, or program, our touchstone should always be Montessori philosophy.  Does the new idea move us closer to authentic practices or farther from them?  If farther, can the idea be modified to better align with our core principles or can it be implemented as a temporary solution, building in regular check-points to see if it is still needed?

It also means that, if our intent is the mindful implementation of the Montessori Method, we need to be attentive to our habitual daily practices.  While the advice to not “sweat the small stuff” is generally well-placed for those of us who tend to expect too much from ourselves and others, it is often the “small stuff” that inches us unconsciously farther and farther from our true beliefs.  When we realize that something that we designed in response to a problem or adopted at the behest of a well-intentioned friend is causing misalignments, it is time to sweat those practices out.  When did they start and why?  Are they authentically serving the child in his development?  Do they faithfully lead the child to discovery – or as Montessori put it, to autoeducation?  Do they genuinely foster independence?  Or are they practices that we initiated to rush the child along or to restrict his choice in the mistaken belief that it would make him more successful?

When we (hopefully!) find practices that are not serving us or the child as intended, let this be a cause for celebration!  Remembering that there is no growth in comfort and no comfort in growth, we have stepped out in faith with courage rather than remain on the easy road of habit.  Chart a course forward with intention, knowing that minor adjustments made over time can be as effective as a major course correction.

Reflection for Adults:  Choose a topic: instruction, classroom behaviors, follow-up options, learning, the work cycle, child development, or any related to your classroom practice.  Allow these questions and examples to guide your reflection:

  • Can I verbalize my classroom paradigms related to that topic?
  • To what extent is my philosophy on this topic consistent with Montessori philosophy?
  • To what extent is my practice in this area consistent with my philosophy?
  • What hard questions do I need to ask myself for my practices in this area to better serve the children?

Your “hard questions” will address your chosen topic.  Dig deep!  Here are a few examples of challenging questions that one might ask, if they are relevant:

  • Would a visitor think that my environment is influenced more by Montessori or Pinterest?
  • Have I honored the principle of autoeducation by “laying breadcrumbs” to lead the child to discovery or have I rushed his understanding by thoroughly explaining concepts as I understand them?
  • Are the materials in my room authentically didactic? Do the children work with them after a lesson or am I using them only as demonstration aids, giving children a worksheet to complete abstractly as a follow-up?
  • Have I honored the principle of isolation of difficulty or have I skipped over or combined ideas by showing the child shortcuts that interfere with deeply understanding a process?

What changes, small or large, can I commit to initiating next week that will better align my practices (and maybe my paradigms) with Montessori philosophy?

Special Reflection for Administrators:  Just as we all have personal paradigms, so do corporations, businesses, and schools.  Allow these questions to guide your reflection on the paradigms of your school:

  • If a well-informed parent looked at the school website, what impressions would they have? What would they identify as our core principles?
  • Imagine that parents with children in a high-quality Montessori program in another state is moving into the area, and so, comes for a visit. What would help them immediately feel that our school is an authentic Montessori program?
  • If a trained Montessori educator visited the school, which principles of Montessori philosophy would they say are clearly evidenced?

How do I feel about the paradigms that these questions reveal?  Are they aligned with what we claim as our paradigms?

What do I do as an administrator to inspire my staff to keep Montessori philosophy at the forefront, shaping their practice and informing their decisions?

Reflection for Children:  We all have beliefs about ourselves – ways that we see ourselves.  For example, one person might consider herself to be very athletic and good at sports.  Another person might believe that he is kind to others.  Or a person might see herself as being particularly good at math or at art or at making friends.  We can also have negative beliefs about ourselves, such as believing that we are notgood at something like math or art or making friends.  Or we can believe that people don’t see us as being kind to others. We call the beliefs that we hold true our paradigms.

Whatever our paradigms, our subconscious brains choose our actions to align with our beliefs.  So, for example, if we believe that we are not good at making friends, we might isolate ourselves so we don’t have a lot of interaction with others, or we might act unkindly towards another person who might be tempted to be a friend.  We don’t consciously choose to do these things – our brain does it for us in an instant just to prove that our belief is true, to prove, in our example, that we are not good at making friends.

What positive paradigms do you have about yourself?  This might be about your abilities or about the kind of person you are.

What positive paradigms do you wish you had about yourself?  This might include paradigms that you have about yourself already that you would like to change from negative to positive, or they might be brand-new paradigms that you would like to form.

We create and change paradigms through our experiences.  Choose one paradigm that you would like to create or change.

  • What is one thing that you can do regularly that will help your brain construct your chosen paradigm? For example, if you want to create the paradigm that you are kind to others, you might challenge yourself to complete one random act of kindness every day.  You might even choose to challenge yourself to choose a different person every day!
  • What statement can you make that expresses what you would like your paradigm to be? For example, if you want to create the paradigm that you are kind to others, your statement might be, “I am gentle with others physically and socially, particularly those younger, smaller, or less popular than me.”  Putting that statement someplace where you see it regularly and read or say aloud it with conviction will help convince your brain that you are serious about this being your new paradigm, and your subconscious brain will begin to choose your actions to align with the new paradigm!

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior.

Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits.

Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.

Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

-Mahatma Gandhi

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