Have you noticed? Mere days from now we will turn the calendar to May – the crazy month filled with culminating projects, Mother’s Day gifts, final report cards, graduation preparations and celebrations, and a score of other activities and events. It seems like April 30 is an unremarkable day each year – a day much like all the days before it. But the following day, something shifts. It is like being on a roller-coaster when it breaks free from the top of the highest hill – gravity takes over and the car races precipitously towards the “finish line”. Some days, the best you can hope to do is hold on to the safety bar, white-knuckled, and try to give in to the thrill of the ride.
It seems wise, in light of what is coming, to take this week to think about upcoming inevitable changes to the classroom community. Some children will come and some will go. It is a pattern that repeats itself every year as a natural consequence of time passing; it arrives and is completed whether we attend to it or not. The regularity and automaticity with which it happens can lull us into complacency. The fact is that, from the perspective of the child, this upcoming change is huge.
At the end of each school year, somewhere north of 1/3 of the children in Montessori classrooms are anticipating a transition. Some will be transitioning to a classroom with older children and some will be transitioning to a new school. The 3-year age span in each classroom thankfully means that children make this change of venue only once every 3 years. However, that has an unintended consequence: Montessori children do not get a lot of practice with this change. In most cases, the last time a child made a transition between classrooms was 3 years ago. Putting this into the context of Montessori’s Planes of Development, the last time the child moved to a new classroom community, he was transitioning between half-planes or full planes. He was a whole different person.
It is also true that those who remain in place are not unaffected as the make-up of the community changes. They may lose day-to-day contact with good friends or with a valuable opponent. They may reconnect with others. Their role within the classroom will transform as they take on the responsibilities of greater leadership.
Change. One of the few things that we are all guaranteed will always be part of our lives.
It is said that change is hard. I am not sure that is true. I believe that anticipating change is often harder than the change itself. Once the actual change occurs, sometimes it is hard, but often it is easy or even a welcome relief. But the anticipation can wreak havoc on personal peace and on classroom normalization. When we help our children proactively manage the way that they anticipate transitions, we are teaching valuable life skills while we are actively defending the normalization of the community as long as possible.
This week, we focus on serving those community members who are transitioning out of the classroom. Next week, we will focus on those who are knocking on the door, asking to be accepted into the community.
Children leaving the classroom likely are experiencing a variety of emotions: excitement, loss, anxiety, pride, and others. Some will even feel guilty about looking forward to the change. Some will need to make it ok to leave by subconsciously convincing themselves that there is something wrong with the current community – they may try to make this true by badmouthing the community or its members, picking fights with friends, or engaging in rebellious actions. And some will drift through much of the transition as though they had done it 1000 times before. The balance and strength of emotions will be different for individual children. This is a time to be super attentive to children’s social interactions, to monitor children’s emotional state and to know when a quiet conversation with someone who is struggling with what and how to feel would be most helpful.
Our goal with the whole community is to communicate (verbally and nonverbally) that all emotions are valid while keeping the upcoming changes in perspective. This is often best addressed through activity in which children can express themselves. The endgame is to preemptively replace potential bad drama with authentic good drama. Following are some ideas for a variety of activities that can do just that. Some of these might even be projects that an art or music specialist might be interested in helping with. WARNING: Many of these projects could expand to take on a life of their own if not sufficiently constrained, so be sure to set boundaries that you are comfortable with! Use your knowledge of your class dynamic and the needs of the departing children, as well as your assessment of how much time can be dedicated to an activity of this type to choose from among these options or craft your own.
Minimize fear of the unknown
- Invite a small group of students who moved up last fall to return to the classroom to meet and talk with those who are about to move up within the school. Ask them to focus on what helped them be successful with the transition, what they worried about that turned out to be minor, and what they wished they had known. BONUS: keep this as informal as possible and involve food – perhaps a brown bag lunch-and-learn. If you teach at the top level at your school and all of your children go on to other schools, it becomes even more impactful to connect your children with a graduate from your program. The meeting may have to take place after school to accommodate visitors’ school schedule
- Request that your moving-up students be able to shadow someone from the new level for a morning. The teacher at the new level will likely have an opinion about whether it is less disruptive to have everyone visit as a group or to have a couple come at a time. While it may be best for you to have everyone be out of the classroom at once, it is best to respect the wisdom (and the willingness) of the hosting teacher – s/he knows the rhythm of the class and what will work for the community of students who will be receiving your children. Note: most choose to not include children who are changing schools in this visit, thinking that this might make them sad about what they will miss out on next year.
- For those leaving the school: some schools will allow transfer children to shadow for a day, so if it is possible to have parents arrange that for children who are moving out rather than moving up, it can be tremendously helpful. BONUS: schedule it for the same day that those who are moving up do their shadowing.
Help children demonstrate that they will be leaving a place in which they have made happy memories
One way to celebrate the children’s experiences in your class is to invite everyone who is leaving (those moving up and those moving out) to create something that will leave their mark behind – something that shows that they were present and a part of the community. With older children (generally 3rd plane children) this might be a class gift. With second plane children, the same effect can be achieved with a small group project.
- Perhaps the group will collaborate and decide to write a book about what they most fondly remember about their time in your class with each student contributing a page. The remembrances can be expressed through the written word (prose or poetry), photographs, or art.
- Perhaps they will decide to create a hanging artwork that is a collaboration where everyone works together on the product. Or perhaps they will favor a product where different sections of the final piece are cordoned off for each student. This can be a “favorite memory” piece with each square showing one memory; it might be a piece where each person reproduces one section of a beloved piece of art and all of the pieces are assembled like a paper quilt to create the totality. (Think of cutting a poster of “Starry Night” by Van Gogh cut into rectangles, and each child reproduces their rectangle; the pieces are assembled at the end.)
- It could be something that they create (song, skit, etc.) to pass on words of wisdom to the next set of “oldest” children in the class to welcome them to their new leadership roles – a proverbial passing of the baton.
- It might be a garden plot where each child brings something to plant. The class/ school can provide matching plant markers for children to write their name and the name of whatever they planted. (Of course, if this is chosen, it will be important to ensure that the garden is tended during the summer months so the plants are still there in the fall.)
The critical element of this project is that it is a collaborative effort of all those who are leaving.
Provide an opportunity for those who are remaining in the class to express their appreciation for those who are leaving.
A simple way to accomplish this is to have volunteers make a farewell card for each child who is leaving. They can be unique to the recipient or can be the same basic design for all of the cards. When the cards are done, every child writes a personal message on each card. The messages express what they most appreciate about the departing child, what they will most miss about having them in the class on a daily basis, or what their fondest wish is for the departing child in the coming year.
Acknowledge that it is ok to be excited and a little nervous about the change – write a happy ending to the story
Like the “fond memories” project, this can be any kind of activity or project where children air their excitement and their concerns.
- This might be a journal prompt, asking each departing child what most excites them and most concerns them about the move. The prompt should also ask what the child needs to diminish concerns.
- It could be something that depicts this same theme through another medium (art, music, drama)
- It could be a “letter to self” to be opened on the first day of the next school year. The letter could contain all of the child’s wishes for the next year or the next level of schooling. It can be given to the receiving teacher or mailed to each child’s home about a week before school starts in the fall. (Have children address and stamp the envelope as part of the project so you aren’t looking up addresses next fall. Bonus: slip in a photograph of the class before mailing.)
- You might give a lesson on writing a “how to” paragraph with a requested follow-up to write How to Make and Keep Friends. This will seem like a typical lesson and follow-up for the children but will allow them to do some processing through their work.
The critical element of this project is that children feel safe enough to reveal any concerns that they might have (likely an individual effort) and feel welcome to express excitement about the change.
Reflection for adults: When thinking about the children leaving the class in a month, are there children who have overtly expressed emotions – fear or excitement – about the upcoming change? These may be the planners, looking well ahead to be sure that they are prepared. Or they may be the dramatists, who look forward to an epic departure.
Have I supported their emotions as being valid? Do I feel a twinge of regret or jealousy if they are excited about the move? Do I allow children to be sad for a bit or do I try to suppress these emotions?
When thinking about those who are remaining, are there children who will be lost next fall without their best friend? What opportunities are there in the final weeks of school to pair these children with a possible new best friend?
When thinking of the class at large, what activities can I plan as a Reflection for children that honor this transition process as an important part of life – something that is a normal and healthy consequence of growth? How can I channel the energy around this transition into good drama – part of the children’s big story – so there is little room for bad drama? How can each child write the happy ending to his year?
Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
-Pauline R. Kezer