Who are you listening to?

Last week, I sent messages to a number of experienced Montessorians across the country.  I asked how their class was doing.  The response was swift, definitive, and consistent: kids are struggling.

This should not be surprising.  We can look to that old chestnut, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs, to see why we are seeing such novel behaviors and struggles in children.  When schools were shuttered, children lost their sense of safety, predictability, and security – the foundational levels of what is essential to humans.  Some also lost their emotional or physical safe place.  Some learned to fear being with other people; the youthful sense of immortality was replaced by adult-style concern for safety. 

All of this happened in the blink of an eye. There was little time to adapt– all was lost in a matter of days. 

What we’re witnessing in children (behavior and attitudes)

While the struggle is understandable, most guides that I polled were unaware of how prevalent this is.  So, for the record, here is what guides most commonly told me is present/prevalent in their classrooms:

• COVID protocol fatigue (masks, distancing, other limitations)
• novel behavioral issues (regressing to behavior typical of children 3-6 years younger)
• increased sense of entitlement
• generalized anxiety and depression, including heightened apprehension of change
• decreased academic and social stamina; increased tendency to sit and do nothing
• increased drama and social friction, often resembling sibling-type bickering
• lack of ability to retain what they have experienced
• decreased executive functioning skills
• decreased willingness to try new things

Does this sound like your class?  If so, you are not alone.

What we’re hearing about the children (academics)

On the other side of the COVID-coin, there is well-founded concern at the local and national level about learning-loss.  A large study by McKinsey & Company shows that last year, students learned only 67% of the math and 87% of the reading that they would have learned in a more typical year.  Schools that serve predominantly students of color experienced significantly lower rates of learning (57% math, 77% reading).  This is not learning lost over the summer; this learning was never attained.  The studies only quantify what we already know.  Children aren’t coming to school as well-prepared for the new year as they typically are, nor are they making the same kind of academic progress to which we are accustomed.  This reality is sending teachers, parents, administrators, and academicians scrambling for solutions. 

Who are we going to listen to? 

In essence, we have two voices that are demanding to be heard.  One says that children “are behind” and need to catch up.  The other voice says that children’s most basic physical, social, and emotional needs must be attended.  We have to decide which voice will receive our fullest attention.

The studies on learning-loss generally end with recommendations of how to “make up the gap”, including longer school days, structured after-school programs, weekend school, and summer school.  The very idea that the gap can be made up by extra school time would have merit if, as many pedagogies still seem to believe, the child is “an empty vessel waiting to be filled”.  For those who subscribe to this factory model of education, this undoubtedly seems like a logical solution. 

And yet, students are showing us in no uncertain terms that increasing contact-hours is not the solution; they are unable to take full advantage of the hours that they have right now.  They simply cannot pivot back as if nothing happened.  As constructivists, we know that our work is not transferring knowledge into children’s brains; it is creating the environment and providing developmentally appropriate experiences for children to build their own brains.  We understand that only children whose physical, social, and emotional safety is ensured can step out and take some academic risk, stretch themselves to a new concept, and work with the concept long enough to internalize it in their own way. 

And from a purely practical position, if we are going to keep the majority of our effort in our circle of influence, it is clear that we must be patient with the academics right now – our first priority must be rebuilding our children’s resiliency through rebuilding our classroom communities. 

Regrowing resilient individuals through classroom communities

Regrowing self-assurance, curiosity, and a thirst for knowledge is going to take time.  It requires rebuilding trust through consistency and routine.  Children must learn how to people and how to school again. 

How to people: overcoming fear

For some children, peopling requires overcoming crippling fear of being with others outside their family bubble.   These children respond best to trauma-informed teaching practices.  Dysregulated children cannot access higher-order thinking, so telling them to calm down only exacerbates the situation.  We have to approach these children in a brain-sequential manner, beginning with the most primitive parts of the brain. (For an excellent series of short talks on Trauma-Informed teaching, please see ChildTrauma Training Academy on YouTube)

• Move from Dysregulate to Regulate using calming activities with a rhythmic pattern mimicking the rate of the pre-natal maternal heartbeat (hammering, rocking, dribbling a basketball, drumming – probably in the hallway or outside).  If the child is seeking physical contact, rubbing their back in slow steady pattern can help.
• Move from Regulate to Relate by conveying through words, body language, and action that you are the child’s coach and helper, not the behavior-police nor the work-police.
• Move from Relate to Reason.  It is now possible to have an intellectual conversation about whatever the difficulty was: fear of doing as requested, repairing damaged relationships, etc.  It may also be possible now to talk about ways to prevent a reoccurrence of the same difficulty.

How to people: joining the community

For many children, being able to people means reawakening what it takes to be part of a community.  The same principles and techniques that have always worked will still work today, but we may have to dedicate more time to it, be a bit more intentional, and show more patience along the way. 

• Develop a classroom identity and purpose – who are we and why are we here?
• Develop a code of conduct.  It is fine to begin with the 3 R’s or ROSE (Respect Self, Others, and the Environment), but it tends to lose its meaning over time.  What specifically do the children think that they need from each other to be successful?  Consider role-playing, inviting a couple of volunteers act out an undesirable behavior to set the stage for a class discussion of why the behavior is hurtful to the community.  Then take suggestions for alternative, more desirable choices.  Conclude with the same volunteers performing the same scenario, this time showing one of the more desirable behaviors.
• Set shared community goals.  This may be as basic as having respectful transitions (no injuries and no hurt feelings).  It may involve academics, like helping each other master math facts so that, for example, everyone will be solid on addition facts by November. These will be most effective if we check in daily on how the community goal is progressing and acknowledge when the goal is met by talking about everyone’s contribution.

How to people: sharing authentic feelings

One of the most effective ways to help children share their feelings is by building a strong emotional vocabulary.  We want children understand that emotions are a normal part of the human experience and that they arise instinctively.  When we have the vocabulary to express the feelings that emotions cause in us, we have power.  We can share how we feel (and sometimes why we feel that way) with others, which them understand us better.  It also helps us be in control of our feelings, rather than our feelings being in control of us.

• When we can name it, we can claim it.
• When we claim it, we don’t blame it on someone else.
• That gives us power to tame it!

There are many lists of feelings-words on the internet.  Here are a few resources that I found very approachable:

• A general discussion and a list of the most basic feelings and their synonyms (although she calls them emotions): https://karlamclaren.com/emotional-vocabulary-page/
• For older children: Tom Dummond’s list is awe-inspiring: https://tomdrummond.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Emotion-Feelings.pdf
• Some idea of classroom games/activities to make this vocabulary-building part of classroom time, see: https://lockhart-learning.com/product-category/free/  (Note that you will need to “purchase” this, but it is a free download.)

How to people: awakening empathy

Montessori talked about sociability – having feelings of empathy within the group – as one of four characteristics of normalization.  First steps in promoting empathy can easily be woven into our daily practices.

• Through fiction.  Read books with ample opportunity to explore how the characters feel. For a list of great children’s literature geared to teaching about empathy, see https://www.huffpost.com/entry/childrens-books-empathy-kindness_l_5d52e7b1e4b0c63bcbee2699   One book that a lot of Upper Elementary guides are talking about this year is Wonder by R. J.  Palacio.  It is about a boy with facial abnormalities who is about to attend school for the first time at age 10.  It addresses bias, self-acceptance, friendship, and bulling.   
• Through group problem-solving.  The good of the community is at the center of the best problem solving.    If a problem arises, whether it is transitions that take forever or put-downs, if we identify the problem and skip directly to solutions, we are missing an opportunity to promote empathy.  It is worth the time to talk about how the problem adversely affects the community.  But be careful to keep this discussion at the community level; allowing it to degenerate to how it adversely affects specific individuals invites victim mentality into the conversation and steals focus from wanting the greater good for the collective.

How to school : fostering independence and interdependence

In many cases, parents have been the drivers of children’s days for the last 12-18 months, choosing when and where and how assigned work is to be done.  The children have had few, if any normalizing events (choose a work, complete it, return the work to the shelf).  In many households, once children completed required work, they were cleared to engage in any activity that allowed work-at-home adults to do their work.  Children learned to work to be done rather than working to gain new skills/knowledge.   To recapture normalization, we refrain from doing for children.  We slow down to explain what is to be done rather than to do it for the child; we answer a question with a question; and we partner children needing help with children who can provide help.  (And of course, school-work stays at school!)

How to school: creating awareness of physical /mental fatigue

When students were learning from home, they typically had to be online during certain portions of the day – the rest was intended to be work time, but often it was not.  Consequently, they do not have the stamina that we are accustomed to.  We need to help them be aware when they need water, rest, snack or a mental break.  Having regular access to engaging Practical Life activities have never been more important than this year. 

How “to school”: reconnecting with materials

Materials provide a sensory experience of concepts.  This allows children to integrate new learning at a rate set by their own brains.  It can be tempting, when the whole class feels dysregulated, to offer work that that can be completed with minimal fuss and supervision.  But what we know is that product-focused work (i.e. worksheets) does not produce the deep learning nor the intrinsic satisfaction that process-focused work does. 

How to school: finding inner calm

We can use principles from trauma-informed teaching even when children don’t appear traumatized.  Transitions are times that are ripe for setting the stage for a peaceful classroom.  Start the morning and afternoon with an activity of intentionality.  Here are a few ideas:

• Practice meditation and/or yoga
• Practice deep breathing to something mimicking the maternal heartbeat 60-90 beats per minute (get a metronome or play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sefXprsMZsQ).  Breathe in time to the heartbeats – 2 beats in and 4 beats out if possible.
• Practice visualization.  “See yourself choosing your first work of the morning/afternoon …  What are you gathering?  Where are you setting up to work?  … See yourself starting that work and feeling successful.  … If your first work is going to be geography, you may go to work….”  Those children who need extra support to choose and initiate work will be the last ones at line, giving you an opportunity to provide 1:1 coaching.   

In aggregate, it is time for us to take a deep breath and claim our priorities.  Remember that normalization is “becoming a contributing member of society”.  It says nothing about children working to make up a learning gap caused by a global pandemic.  It will come later this year.  But it will come if we mindfully attend to the most pressing needs of the children. And the academics will follow, including love of work, concentration, self-discipline, and sociability.

Normalization “is the most important single result of our whole work.”

~Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind