Health, Happiness, & Longevity

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The other day, I jumped into the car to run errands and caught the last 30 seconds of a radio interview with a new author.  I don’t know who it was or the name of the book, but the last thing he said caught my attention: “Perfection is the enemy of done.”  It started me thinking about being “done” in the classroom. We can be done for the day or done with a certain strand of the curriculum but we are never really done because we are people of continuous improvement.  As observers, we are always assessing, always tweaking what or how we deliver content and how we work with children to help them flourish.  We are always striving for ways to create a more harmonious, child-centered and growth-centered environment. 

Continuous Improvement vs. Seeking Perfection

Is there a difference between continuous improvement and seeking perfection?  I think so.  In fact, understanding the difference between the two may be one of the keys to health, happiness, and longevity in the classroom!

We each have an idea of how an authentic Montessori classroom runs; for many of us, it was given to us initially during our training.  It came from our readings of Montessori philosophy and from our instructors’ attempts to encapsulate how Montessori philosophy is implemented.  Our common vision is what unites us as Montessorians.

If this vision becomes the immutable standard of perfection against which we measure ourselves, we do a disservice to ourselves, to our children, and to Montessori.  We set ourselves up to be all things to all people at all times and will, by virtue of this paradigm, set ourselves up to be perpetually disappointed.  Implicit in the quest for perfection is the belief that our ideal could be attained if only we/they (fill in the blank).  We try to control more and more elements of our classroom that are truly not even within our Circle of Influence, inevitably eroding our confidence and starting down the slippery slope to burnout.  We blame the parents, the children, and ourselves for the shortcomings in our classrooms.

On the other hand, if we acknowledge that we have never been in a Montessori classroom that was, to quote Mary Poppins, “practically perfect in every way”, we can use that same idea about authentic implementation of Montessori in healthier ways.  If we see ourselves and our children as a work in progress, we can proactively evaluate what is working well and what needs a breath of fresh air.  We accept ourselves as well as the children and adults that we work with as being human beings with skills, talents, flaws, and personalities.  We allow ourselves the latitude to have days that don’t meet the ideal in the certain knowledge that we get to try again tomorrow.  Rather than use our ideal as a rigid standard that must be met, we use it to provide direction to propel us forward in the commitment that each day and each year we will strive to do a bit better than the day or year before.

Tapping in to Humility

When it comes right down to it, there is a certain conceit in perfectionism.  It is founded on the belief that everything flows from me and therefore any shortcomings reflect my own deficits.  This misplaced desire to appear flawless is fueled by attempts to cover-control, which in turn actually diminishes our power to influence.  Continuous improvement, however, is founded in the sense of humility that Montessori said was at the core of the Transformation of the Adult.  It is the ability to see the good without taking credit and see the need for improvement without ascribing blame to ourselves or to others.

Some might say that this hair-splitting.  I would argue that it is a fundamental distinction that has the power to transform our expectations of ourselves.  And maybe, if we can stop expecting perfection from ourselves, we can extend that same grace to our children and to others.  In the process, we may find that we are less frustrated by those who don’t comply with our expectations and less judgmental of what we perceive to be their motivations.  We can make the world a more loving and peaceful place, beginning with ourselves and our classrooms.

Practicing Continuous Improvement

I advocate ending each day with, “What went well today and what can we do differently tomorrow?”  If you can think of nothing that went well, dig deeper.  Continuous improvement demands that both elements are present.   “What went well” is the foundation on which improvement is based.  We must know what we want to preserve as we make adjustments.

Initially, it may be best to do this as a self-assessment.  With just a little practice, it can become the way that the classroom team ends each day while closing down the classroom.  Or it can be a regular part of team meetings.  Ultimately, the real power is in bringing it to the children, helping them to look back on their day to see what makes them proud and happy and how they can posture themselves to be proud and happy again tomorrow.

Reflection for All:  What went well today/has been going well?  What one thing would I choose to change tomorrow to improve the likelihood of success, love, accomplishment, pride, happiness, peace, or some other aspect of my/our day?

Additional Reflection for Adults:  Am I completely clear about the difference between setting an appropriately high bar and perfectionism?  The difference between self-criticism and self -deprecation?    

Do I have expectations of myself or of others that are routinely unmet?  Do I think of those instances as opportunities for growth or as character flaws?   Does my perfectionism get in the way of seeing one thing that I can change for the better?

Due to the AMS conference, there will be no new blog next Friday. I will be speaking at 3:30 on Saturday, giving a talk called “Concrete Foundations in Early Algebra”. I hope to see many of you there – be sure to say hi!

“Perfection is overrated.   Learn to be an editor at heart.  Constant evolution is what creates success.” 

Shama Kabani, CEO, The Marketing Zen Group

What’s going on in your classroom that keeps you up at night?  PM me through Facebook or write to me at lockhartlearning@gmail.com to nominate a topic for a future blog!