Anyone who has tried to create an “elevator speech” to explain Montessori education has experienced both the power and the challenge to our method: it is so multi-dimensional that it is impossible to encapsulate. Perhaps that is one reason that Dr. Montessori was such a prolific writer – she had so much to explain to us all. Lately, I have been drawn to a very particular virtue of Montessori philosophy, humility, and the many ways it manifests. It has the power to significantly impact both classroom culture and our own individual happiness.
Humility as an Implicit Message in Many Lessons
Many Montessori cultural lessons help us put the entirety of humanity into the proper perspective. Urban legend has it that the Long Black Strip was a lesson that Montessori created in response to a child who was boasting of the longevity, greatness, and wisdom of his culture. Whatever its origin, the lesson creates a strong impression of the relatively insignificant time that humans have been on Earth. It could be said that an indirect aim of many of our cultural lessons is to inspire awe and humility, showing the vastness of the universe in both time and space and the infinitesimally intricate composition of the atom.
Humility as the Servant-Teacher’s Cloak
Montessori passionately wrote about the need to serve the child rather than dominate him. She spoke against the violence committed against the natural development of the child through the attitude that children have to be forced to learn or to work. “We must help the child act for himself, will for himself, think for himself: this is the art of those who aspire to serve the spirit.” (Education for a New World)
Humility as a BFOQ for Montessori Teachers
Dr. Montessori viewed personal humility as essential for a Montessori Guide – it is the key to treating children with the reverence that they are due. “She must acquire a moral alertness which has not hitherto been demanded by any other system, and this is revealed in her tranquility, patience, charity, and humility. Not words, but virtues, are her main qualifications.” (The Discovery of the Child)
Authentic Humility
In a culture that promotes independence over interdependence, that elevates the celebration of individual achievement to an art form, humility can be viewed as weakness. It can be mistakenly equated to passivity, to ineptitude, or to “being a doormat”. In fact, authentic humility is not submissive. It is powerfully, proactively choosing to see oneself in the proper perspective. In other words, humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking about yourself less.
Barriers to Humility
Does embracing humility mean that we cannot take pride in ourselves and our accomplishments? Absolutely not! I maintain that part of the moral alertness that Montessori called for is realized when we find dignity (tranquility) in expressing who we are and what we stand for through our words and actions. And another part is attained when we understand that our unique talents, skills, and qualities were given to us, not to serve ourselves, but to serve each other (patience and charity).
I believe that the real enemy of humility is anything that encourages us to feel superior. Unchecked, superiority leads to arrogance. When we place ourselves, our needs, and our status above others, we have lost our humility. We mistakenly believe that the more highly we regard ourselves, the more highly others will regard us.
There is sometimes a fine line between pride and superiority because they come from a common source – the desire to be the best that we can be. But the differences are significant.
- Pride is inwardly-focused. It rightly-guides our choices to be harmonious with how we see ourselves. It does not encourage comparison to others. We strive to accomplish more so that we will be better at what we do, perhaps resulting in greater self-satisfaction, perhaps to better serve those around us.
- Superiority is outwardly-focused. It leads to judging others and can fuel perfectionism and the tendency to blame others for our mistakes. We strive to accomplish more so that we will gain the admiration of others, to increase our honor, power, or pleasure.
Said another way, pride enables us to keep a proper perspective of our context in humanity – it is collaborative and inclusive. By contrast, superiority is exclusive. The implicit message is that all success/failure depends upon me and/or the standards that I set for myself and others.
Uninvited and Unwelcome Superiority
Feelings of superiority (or the desire to feel superior) can creep in without our permission.
Sometimes this causes us to place undue pressure on ourselves to achieve unrealistic goals solely through our own personal effort. This is a certain way to erode our self-confidence and a clear path to burnout. We need to be watchful for these symptoms, for our good and the good of those around us!
- Do you spend exorbitant time preparing elaborate lessons that are designed to deliver extravagant content? Remember that we “sow seeds”. If we tell children everything that we know about the subject, what is left for them to discover? Is the work of the child limited to regurgitating content from the lesson?
- Do you mistrust your ability to give a lesson unless you have collegiate-level knowledge of the subject; are you afraid that a child might ask a question that you cannot answer? If you get stuck or make an error in the middle of a lesson, do you try to cover it up? Remember that part of what children learn from us is how to be a lifelong learner. Allowing children to see that we don’t know everything and that are still learning is great modeling. Practice saying these: “Let me share what I know so far.” “Hmm… what I just did doesn’t seem quite right – can anyone see my error?” “I don’t know the answer to that, but I bet [person or another resource] does!”
- When someone observes your classroom, are you cripplingly fearful that the observer will find something inadequate? Alternatively, do you look forward to showing the observer how this Montessori thing should be done? Ask yourself if your fear or your giddy anticipation is rooted in the need to be seen as perfect or as the best. Remember that we are all on a journey and that we all have things to learn and things to teach. Consider asking the observer to be especially attentive to something that you are working on. “Lately, we have been working on walking respectfully in the classroom. We have made progress, but I would really appreciate a fresh set of eyes on this, to see if we really are where we want to be on this practice.”
Sometimes, feelings of superiority (or the need to feel superior) cause us to judge others or to fear that others will judge us. Or both. These judgments can appear in a heartbeat without us even realizing that it is happening, and can adversely affect our relationships.
- When a child challenges you or ignores your request, is your first instinct is to prickle with anger? Remember that Montessori calls us to presume the best in the children. She said to look at misbehavior like an illness rather than like an affront or an intentional act. Seek first to understand what is at the root of the behavior, and then find a way to help the child be successful. Replace the “disciplinarian” hat with the “coach” hat.
- When a parent calls, emails, or comes in with a concern, is your first instinct to dismiss their concern because they don’t understand? Remember that parents understand their children in a different way than we do and that their knowledge of their child is at least as valid and complete as our own. Seek first to understand their observations and then share your own to seek common ground.
- When discussing classroom/school environment with colleagues, do you hide or minimize your classroom struggles, fearing that they might lose respect for you if they knew? Remember that sharing your struggles is an act of trust. Making yourself vulnerable in this situation, seeking the help of others, may not only present an idea that will help solve the problem but also help others see you as more approachable, increasing the respect that they feel for you.
When we understand the power behind the kind of authentic humility that Montessori called us to embrace, we are better able to establish reasonable expectations for ourselves and others, to find self-satisfaction and fulfillment in our work, and to help others do the same.
Reflection for adults: In what ways do you manifest tranquility, patience, charity, and humility in your daily practice? Are there barriers to any of these virtues that you would like to work on removing?
Reflection for children: We are each given certain talents and skills in life. Thankfully, we are not given the exact same talents and skills as our friends! Some say that we each have different talents and skills so that we can help each other. Someone who is great at building things can help someone who is not, but who is great at growing things. Someone who naturally sees the humor or the positive things in any situation can help someone who cannot, but who is great at seeing how to solve problems. What skills and talents have you used to help others? Are there skills and talents that you would like to grow to be better able to help others?:
Image Credit: Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay
Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars.
Serbian Proverb