Occasionally, I have an experience that is so profound that I feel I simply must share it. Sunday evening’s All Souls Procession in Tucson, Arizona was one of those occasions.
A Shared Experience of Peace and Unity
The procession is an inclusive ceremonial performance piece that started in 1990 with one woman walking to memorialize her father. More and more people gather each year to “Remember Together”. It has grown to include over 150,000 people representing a wide variety of ethnicities, cultures, and art forms. While there are organized groups that create floats, music, or dance along with observers sitting all along the 2-mile route, this is not a parade. A giant urn begins the procession. Designated ushers collect the names of beloved dead from the crowd and place them into the urn. Observers become participants; they join as the pageant passes by. The 3-hour procession ends at the Finale Grounds with music and dance, culminating in burning the contents of the urn. https://allsoulsprocession.org/about/
I wish I could describe the feeling of watching successive groups pass by our vantage point before we joined in! Imagine this sea of humanity: a Japanese group with giant rolling drums, lanterns on fishing poles, kimonos, and ceremonial chant; a Mariachi orchestra (30 strong) with dancers in traditional Mexican dress; a Native American group drumming and chanting while a few members smudged the parade route; a group of Scots in kilts with bagpipes and drums; a traditional marching band drum line. These organized groups were interspersed with individuals and families. Some were dressed in amazingly detailed costumes; others pulled portable altars; many carried lighted placards with photos of loved ones. There were babes in arms and elders in wheelchairs. Some were telling elaborate stories about those they had lost; others were walking in a more introspective remembrance. While I am sure that countless volunteer hours were logged in preparation, it feels as if the event just miraculously happens: people come, walk, share, and are connected, all with a sense of peace and unity.
Our Need for Connection
Days later, I am still thinking about the importance of human connectivity. We all need it, whether we delight in being amidst a flurry of acquaintances or are happiest with just a couple of close friends. Maslow identified it as a basic human need, surpassed only by physiological needs and safety needs. Montessori identified it as a characteristic of normalization (sociability: having sentiments of empathy for the group and the desire to help others). It seems that it is fundamental to our human condition, and yet it is so hard to authentically achieve.
Connections in The Information Age
Today’s children are growing up with unparalleled access to information. A few keystrokes provides a peek into other cultures, practices, and ideas without authentically linking us with the people. We are digitally connected, yet socially/emotionally isolated. We know about other cultures without knowing other cultures. This is a recipe for racism, ageism, sexism, genderism, and a host of other -isms.
This human tendency to judge what we think we know about others happens in our classrooms as well. When we don’t take the time to really know other people in our classroom community, we don’t see their value. We see their differences as being an irritant or something to be feared. We react to that irritant by critiquing their appearance, behavior, or words. This sets up the ideal conditions for cliques, social ostracism, bullying, or punishment. If we would take the time to listen, understand, feel, and know, our reactions to differences would be quite different. By contrast, when friends irritate us, we tend to make space for them. We give them passes because we know and love them.
Put another way, it is hard to hate someone if you know their story.
Promoting Connections in the Classroom
The good news is that we can actively promote children building connectivity in the classroom, directly and indirectly. Here are but a few ideas:
- Regularly (weekly?) ask children to choose a work, snack, or lunch partner that is new to them
- Weave activities into some aspect of the curriculum that promote mutual understanding. For example, have children interview another student about their interests and talents or their family history. This activity might culminate in a writing assignment that applies skills a recent writing mini-lesson. (For example, apply skills of paragraph writing, dialog, persuasive writing, etc.)
- If there are children who we know have a common (as yet undiscovered) interest, connect them through their mutual interest. For example, teaming them up for personal-interest work.
- Connect children who have complimentary skills to complete a project. (For example, pair a skilled writer with a skilled illustrator for a project.)
- Occasionally assign work groups that “stir the pot”
Reflection for all: Since we are all members of the same classroom, we are automatically connected to one another. We are more strongly connected to some members of our classroom community than others. Maybe you are connected because you are on the same soccer team, or because you collect Pokémon cards. Sometimes, there are people in our classroom that we see every day without really connecting with them. Let’s see how well we know one another.
For each student, try to write:
- one thing that connects you to that student (a shared experience or interest). This should be more than just that you are both in the same classroom.
- one thing that the student is passionate about.
If you find that there is someone with whom you really have no meaningful connection, that is ok. It is better to leave it blank than to put something trivial like, “We both wear shoes with laces” or, “we both like oxygen.”
This reflection may take some time to complete, particularly in a larger class. Please do not rush students to completion.
Collect and review children’s responses. Is there is a child in the class who is marooned on a social island? Someone who feels a connection with few or no community members? Are there children who find it difficult to allow others to connect with them? When you return the reflections to the students, challenge them to choose one new person to connection with that week. (This may necessitate assigning the challenge to a specific project, like the ideas above the reflection.)
“Connection is why we are here. We are hardwired to connect with others.”
-Brene Brown