Today’s post continues the discussion started last week on unanticipated and often unrecognized side-effects of a season focused heavily on standardized testing and test prep. Last week addressed the impact to classroom normalization of decreased choice and collaboration, narrow and prescriptive content, and challenge levels that may or may not be appropriate for each child. This week, we address a social/emotional impact: isolation.
During standardized testing and test prep, as was discussed last week, children are precluded from collaborating. Working together to learn from one another and to produce a superior outcome is now “cheating’. But the issue can be larger than just a lack of ability to collaborate. When children are directed to focus on a particular task without interacting with others, there is also less opportunity during the day to connect with others on a personal level, to encourage, entertain, celebrate, or support one another. Children loose opportunities to demonstrate empathy or altruism. They have fewer opportunities to satisfy their drive to find/maintain their place in the social grouping.
To some degree, true introverts may relish the time that they are left to their own devices! However, many children will feel as though something vital was missing from their day. This sense of loss will be offset to some degree for those who find testing novel and in some way intellectually stimulating. These children will engage in chipper conversation after the sessions are done about things that they found interesting, fun, or challenging in the process. But the children who are stressed by the very act of being tested or who struggle to complete test modules are left with feelings of being uniquely inadequate, compounding their sense of isolation and loss. For these children, the day in no way “fills their bucket”.
The same can be true for teachers! Our interactions with the children, normally genuine and human, are now scripted and restricted. We also lose dimensions in our adult-to-adult interactions. The focus of before/after school and lunchtime conversations shifts. Rather than describing a cool new mini-obsession that has taken hold in the classroom, brainstorming possible solutions to a newly defined issue, funny or perplexing things that children did or said, or soliciting opinions from peers about future classroom plans are replaced by conversations about the heavy burden of testing, discussions about the mechanics and procedures of testing, or relating children’s adverse reactions to being assessed. We can forget to ask how about a co-worker’s new grandbaby, failing parent, or upcoming show. Like the children, we lose some of our ability to encourage, entertain, celebrate, or support one another. Our social dimension loses some of its richness.
If these unintended consequences go hand-in-hand with the standardized testing season, how can we keep the testing (which we must) and minimize the adverse social/emotional effects? As with any issue, awareness is half of the solution.
With the children, this might begin with a discussion on the true meaning of introversion and extroversion. Spending time in meaningful dialog with the children, in-and-of-itself, is good medicine. Conversations that help us better understand one another and better enable us to support others’ true needs is time well spent irrespective of the season.
The terms introvert and extrovert are often misunderstood, so be sure to do your homework before leading this discussion. Here are a few key realities:
– Introversion extroversion is just one part of every person’s personality. We are complex beings with many things affecting what we enjoy and do.
– Introversion and extroversion are on a continuum – very few people are 100% introverted or 100% extroverted.
– Introverted people can perform well in front of a crowd, just as extraverts can enjoy losing themselves in a good book.
– Introversion and shyness are two different things. So are extroversion and being a public figure.
– Introverts and extroverts both need friends.
– Where a person falls on the continuum depends on a number of factors, mostly on how a person “recharges their batteries”.
– No one can judge where another person falls on the continuum except the person himself.
– Neither is better or worse than the other. The important thing is to know what you need to stay in balance and how to get what you need.
– It is human nature to assume that everyone’s needs match your own. It is respectful to know that this is not true and to try to be sure that everyone gets an opportunity to get his needs met.
A compact, easily digestible description of what introversion and extroversion really are can be found at https://www.prevention.com/health/mental-health/a24068521/introvert-vs-extrovert/.
A succinct list of traits for each can be found at https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/extraversion-or-introversion.htm?bhcp=1.
There are dozens of tests to see if a person is more introverted or extroverted. I took many of those tests and found that they yielded extremely variable results. There is implicit bias in many of them, so use with caution.
An interesting follow-on activity is to draw a line on the white-board with the label 100% introvert on one side and 100% extrovert on the other end. Invite the children to place a mark on the board representing where they feel they fall on the continuum. Since we want to be respectful of introverts, knowing that doing that in front of the group could suddenly shine a spotlight on someone who prefers not to be singled out suggests that this should be done over a period of time, like “sometime this morning” or “by the end of recess”. Please also offer the children the option to add their name if they wish.
The completed continuum offers the opportunity to engage in further discussion about trends in the class and ways that those on either end of the spectrum can find what they need in the environment. It can also be a time to discuss other social/emotional growth opportunities. For example, it might be useful to discuss what to do when it looks like someone needs a friend. It is sometimes a bit scary to offer to connect with someone who is outside your immediate circle, but it can be so rewarding! A fruitful subject for discussion can be how to offer to be with someone in a way that they feel that it is ok to decline the offer, and how not to be hurt if the offer is declined.
The topic of introvert- and extrovert-tendencies can also open the door to conversations about learning to engage in activities that are outside our comfort zone. Some people find being alone to be crippling while others are paralyzed by speaking in public. Both of these are activities that are part of life. To be able to fully access all that life has to offer us, we need to be able to be still with ourselves and to speak up in a group. Being able to stretch outside our comfort zone without denying our true self is a skill that needs to be practiced, just like a sport, or playing an instrument, or long division.
The topic of social isolation can also invite a conversation about the social environment in the classroom. Some great prompts for this include:
• How can you tell if someone needs a friend or is just needing some alone time?
• If you don’t know, is it ok to ask them to join you?
• Is that easy or does it take courage?
• Is it ok for them to turn you down?
• How do you graciously turn down an offer of inclusion?
• How can we be more respectful of the diverse needs of the students in our class?
Reflection for adults: Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, it is important to prevent things that tend to isolate us from making us feel alone or lonely. There are many Montessorians who struggle with the effects of testing on their class and on themselves. You are in good company. What steps are you going to take to offset isolation, to feed your social/emotional well-being and recharge your batteries?
Professionally
• Can you bring a topic to lunch hour, to staff meetings, or to other communal time with teachers that connects the group to our purpose as educators and to each other? This might be, for example, a future collaboration between classrooms, an upcoming event, or even the isolating nature of the testing season and what we can do about it.
• Would a weekly happy hour with co-workers where no discussion of testing is permitted feed your soul? Or a weekly happy half-hour to gather just to encourage one another and share awesome thoughts? (If you choose this, I strongly suggest it be BYOSnacks so it doesn’t take on a life of its own!)
• Is there one special co-worker who really gets you, with whom you can commit to intentionally spending 10 minutes each day in authentic, personal engagement? Is there a co-worker who needs you to be that point of connection?
Personally
• Is there a significant friend (or group) who you can connect with on the weekends for even 20 minutes of face-to-face time?
• Is there a distant friend or relative that you would like to reconnect with? There is no time like the present!
• Is it about time for a date night?
• Is there an organization that would welcome a few volunteer hours, where you would be with people with whom you share a passion other than Montessori education?
• Is engaging with a good movie or great book most effective in recharging your batteries? If so, mark out time on your calendar for that activity. (It takes on more importance and is more likely to actually happen when you overtly set aside time.)
Looking among your co-workers, is there someone who needs this reflection, perhaps even more than you? How can you reach out to that person to offer a personal connection?
Reflection for children: Today we talked about people’s tendencies to be introverted or extroverted. Wherever you placed yourself on the continuum is great! It is part of what makes you special, unlike anyone else! Here are a few things to ponder.
• When you need to recharge, are there specific people, places, and/or activities that work best for you at home or at school? What is your absolutely ideal situation? Does it change depending on your specific needs, for example:
o needing to feel heard?
o needing to be cheered up?
o needing to be encouraged or to be convinced that “you’ve got this”?
o needing to just rest and collect your thoughts and feelings?
• What happens when you need to recharge but you can’t get that ideal situation to work?
• On the whole, do you think you have adequate access to the things that recharge you? If not, what would help?
“Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone, and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.” -Paul Tillich